How are you all? Wow, it’s been a minute hasn’t it. I’ve missed blogging terribly but unfortunately I just haven’t had the emotional strength to get my content out. I can’t apologise enough for that BUT I’m back today with a blogpost!
I can imagine your all wondering why I haven’t been blogging and I feel it’s only right to share with you why. Unfortunately, on the 11th of April, my bestfriend, Jessica-Jayde Allen passed away after a long 6 year battle with cancer. I don’t think there’s anything that can prepare you for the utter agony this causes. she told me this day was to come, yet I never believed it would – I never thought I’d be saying sleep tight to my bestfriend.
I remember the first time I met you, it was on level 9 of the Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital. It was the first time I’d ever been in hospital, Id just become very poorly and you came into my life and just comforted me in a way no one else could. Instantly we grew a close bond and I knew it was fate that had brought us together. You always told me that nothing could beat me within the hospital life and I believe to this day that’s why nothing has ever truly phased me.
Within the next few months, you had relapsed with cancer and that’s when I came to realise just how strong you were. I knew you already had an almighty strength about you, but never to the extent that you showed on a daily basis. It just blew my mind. Throughout all three of your battles with cancer you proved to it that you was the winner, that you was going to survive and show it that no matter how many times it tried to knock you down – you’ll always get back up and fight it with everything you have and I find that truly admirable. I think we all do.
You were well known for your positivity, you kept that smile on your face through the darkest of your days and as you always said, positivity is what kept you going. Positivity is the key to any journey, wether it’s with physical or mental health and you made sure people were aware of that every single day. You honestly were the most positive person I know which is why when you made your hashtag #positivityalways – so many of us got it tattooed on us in your memory. So we have a part of you with us, always.
Aside from illness, we shared so many memories together which will last a lifetime. Wether it was conversations we had, you coming to my house or us making memories out and about, I’ll treasure these for eternity. I think us doing the makeup course together has to be the one that makes me the happiest, seeing your eyes brighten up when you was handed that certificate was something I’ll never forget and makes me tear up thinking of it. You have so many beautiful talents and I’m so glad I got to spend that day with you, enabling you to be able to release one of your talents upon my face. You created such gorgeous looks that day, leaving myself and Cara in awe. Not only did I see your confidence grow throughout the day (which resulted in you smashing the course and becoming a professional makeup artist) but I saw that beautiful smile of yours grow too which is so special.
I hope you know how much I appreciate you, how grateful i am to you and how thankful I am towards you. I’m so thankful that I was one of the handful of people that gets to call you their bestfriend. I’m so grateful that you walked into my life at the darkest of times and brightened it back up again. I appreciate that you helped me through the toughest of situations even though you was facing such hardships yourself. You always put other people before yourself and that’s something I’ll always admire about you.
My heart is physically breaking more and more every single day without you. I miss every little thing about you. I miss your smile, your positive attitude towards life, your warming heart, your precious personality, our special conversations that we had everyday and hugging you tight.
Jessica-Jayde, you touched more lives in your 21 years here on earth then most people do in a life time, you inspired everyone around you and you had the kindest heart which is why everyone who meet you, instantly loved you. You truly are one in a million!
When you left this earth, you took a part of me with you. I’ll never be whole until me, you and Courtney reunite again.
I love you with my whole heart – today, tomorrow and forever. always!